


The way back home

by isnotme



Category: That '70s Show
Genre: Arguing in the street, F/M, Fix-It, Flashbacks, Getting Back Together, Hospitals, Post Season 8, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-11 11:54:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15314943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isnotme/pseuds/isnotme
Summary: The year is 1983 and Jackie's back at Point Place for Donna&Eric wedding. She thought she was ready, but she was wrong.A drunk Jackie leaves Hyde with a new old feeling in his chest. But the girl doesn't remember a thing.Could them find their way back home?





	1. The Wedding - part I

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> I'm new in here so be gentle, please :)  
> Hope you enjoy it!
> 
> And sorry for my english, I'm brazilian :)  
> If you find any mistakes please let me know!
> 
> XO

Point Point 

May 28, 1983 

Night 

  

Jackie was gorgeous, by the way, she was always gorgeous. But it turns out that the lace and satin dress made her look elegant and sexy. And that was certainly a good way to be back at Point Place. After three years living in Chicago, returning to her hometown gave her both joy and embarrassment. It was not easy to see three ex-boyfriends at once. Even though two of them no longer lived in the city, they were all there for the wedding. 

Donna and Eric. It was nothing new at all. Everyone knew they would eventually marry. And after Eric returned from Africa he had to work hard to get her back. But in the end, with they both at the same University and sharing an apartment in Madison, well, after that the marriage came with time. And there was Jackie, dressed as a bridesmaid, standing on the altar of the little town church, watching her best friend walk into a new life. 

A life that Jackie dreamed for many years. Her whole life, to be honest. The dream was to marry and kiss her husband when he got home after work, while she took her time to take care of herself, to take part in foolish events, and to give orders to faceless employees. Great bullshit. But life preaches its plays and there she was, single at 22 (almost 23). She never wanted to be a busy independent woman, that was Donna's dream. Anyways, she was grateful for the years of living with her friend cause without her, Jackie wouldn't have the tools to live that type of life (maybe someone else had something to do with it too, but whatever). Not that she had become a solid-career woman, but that was what she had now, and she would do anything to get there.  

From where she was, she could see Michael, Brooke and little Betsy, her goddaughter, sitting side by side on the second bench. They had been their support in the early months in Chicago. Kelso had evidently matured a lot in recent years, especially after his marriage in November 1981. Now he worked at the Chicago PD and was a caring sweet father, quite clumsy too, it was true. She smiled at him who smiled back. For Michael, Jackie now had only affection and a great feeling of friendship. He was her first boyfriend and they had an almost childlike relationship. Yes, he had lied to her and hurt her a lot but it had been so long ago. And with Kelso, Brooke and Betsy around she felt like she had a family back there in Chicago. A piece of home. 

Beside him was Fez. Her friend's smile was large and impossible not to reciprocate. Fez had been perhaps the best friend Jackie ever had and she missed him so much. She avoided laughing as she recalled the disastrous attempt to make him her boyfriend. Well, they actually dated for almost two months. The first month was summed up in strange kisses and lots of gifts he gave her. And in the second month, it was so obvious that it was a mistake they ended up laughing before the 7th week. Jackie had chosen him because he represented everything she wanted in a man, or whatever she thought she wanted. He loved her, was sweet and reliable, and constantly told her how perfect she was. What else could she ask for? But she never loved him and he never really loved her either.  

Then everything happened too fast and she got a new opportunity on that Chicago local TV channel and then she packed everything and left. 

Of course, one of the things that had a big role in her decision was to be able to get away from him. 

Steven Hyde. 

A pang shook her stomach as she peered at him from the corner of her eye, standing beside Eric at the altar. He was the same, but he looked more handsome than she remembered from the last time she had seen him. He was dressed in a simple dark suit, his long well-bearded beard gave him a mature look. Suddenly their gazes crossed the altar, Jackie thought of deflecting, but let herself be trapped there for a few seconds, only to see a smile draw the corner of his thin lips.  

And suddenly she found herself smiling back. 

And suddenly her heart beat faster. 

It must have been a normal reaction, of course.  

By then she didn’t deny to herself that Steven had been her greatest love. She really put all her energy on him and even though he was nothing  _at_ _all_  like she had dreamed as a man for her, she had loved him with all her heart. And he had broken her heart like no other. A succession of mistakes motivated by their pride and stupidity caused them to come to an end, leaving her crushed. All that Chicago major fiasco, the not so true wedding with the awful Stripper, all that acting of who care less about the another. It was all overwhelming to her. Jackie never imagined that anyone could have such power over her. It was safe to admit that all she had done afterwards was a tempting to forget him: the total fake indifference, her relationship with Fez, her departure from Point Place. However, it was also safe to say that she was, in fact, over him. And looking at him right now, she felt nothing. Nothing at all, sure thing. 

The ceremony had been very touching. It was beautiful to see how the love of Eric and Donna had lasted through the years and matured to something bigger. It was nice to watch and know that she was part of that story as well. Jackie forced down the lump in her throat, she was not that type to cry for any nonsense, but she was very nostalgic.  

Sensitive would describe it better. This marriage story made her revive and rethink many things  

about herself. Been back to Point Place also didn’t help.   

After congratulating the couple and giving Bob and Red and Kitty a big long hug, she walked over her table. A little bit embarrassed, she greeted everyone and smiled, sitting down in the only place available, alongside Brooke and Steven.  _Great_.  

A strong sense of Steven's physical presence beside her took hold of her. She could almost feel his heat. Because of this, she filled her glass again with the champagne.  

The strange mood was completely broken when Kelso announced that he and Brooke were pregnants again. There was much joy and hugs and, of course, the burns between Steven, Michael and Fez. The dinner was pleasant and as the alcohol made everyone looser, they laughed a lot, remembering some of their best stories. And Jackie could almost feel like her old self again. After the first few hours, the guests were already starting to move around in the small hall. 

“So Jackie, long time no see! How things in Chicago? ” Steven asked when the two of them got left at the table. He turned slightly in his chair to look at her, one arm propped up on the backrest and one leg half-bent over the accent. 

“Oh, they are awesome.” She replied feeling an urge to lie a little and then taking a long sip on her champagne soon after. Things were going well, but not awesome exactly. "You know, I'm totally focused on my show.” She shrugged a little. Was she nervous?  

"Yeah man, your show has been quite a hit. It wouldn’t surprise me at all to see you in Hollywood in a few years.”  

She laughed, perhaps too much, feeling stupidly flattered but she decided to ignore that.“I wish so! The schedule doesn’t help me much, but I've been working hard, so...” 

A strange moment of silence came soon after. Jackie avoided to look up, as she felt Steven analyzing her, so she kept staring at her own hand over the table, twisting her fingers. She took another sip of her drink. 

"I heard you're in Milwaukee now.” She finally managed to say, looking up at him.  

Hyde nodded, seeming not to have realized clearly what she had said. After a second he finally said something back.  

"Yea - yes, I... I had to give WB I little help, but it's nothing definitive yet. ”  

“But is he fine? I mean…” Jackie asked, genuinely concerned. 

“Yes, Yes. Now he is.”  

“Good, good.” There was a small moment of embarrassing silence, again. "Would you tell him I send a hug?” 

“Course. He asks about you, sometimes.”  

“Oh!” She didn’t knew what to say and it only got stranger. “I thought Angie would come.”  

“She's in New York.” He answered quickly.  

“Wow. The city?” Hyde nodded. “That’s nice. But is she still on Grooves?” 

“She is. In fact she won a scholarship. Should return next year.” 

“This is a good thing for her.” 

“Yes it is.” 

Another moment of silence with both looking down this time.  

Why did it have to be so weird? Jackie filled up her cup again. And suddenly the thought of any leftover feeling towards Steven placed deep inside her heart terrified her. Couldn't be.  

"Well, I ... I'm going to look for Donna. See you later.” She said without looking at him. 

Steven just nodded at her and then Jackie left in a hurry. That was really really bad. And her heart pounding desperately didn’t helped much. She let out a heavy sigh, turning her cup over again.  


	2. The Wedding – part II

Point Place  

May 29, 1983 

Dawn 

  

The word drunk might be too much, but Hyde certainly felt funny and dumb. Maybe he drank too many beers, but it was Forman's wedding, dammit! He was happy to see his friends coming together and having fun like a few years ago when life was good and simple. Hyde was glad to see her too. He hadn’t seen Jackie since Kelso's wedding. And it was almost two years ago. At the time, she didn’t look so secure and matured. Of course, she did everything to look like she was doing super great in Chicago but Hyde knew her too well to know she wasn't doing so well. And it kind of made him feel good, sadly good.  

But now... Dammit, she looked beautiful. I mean, she had always been beautiful, but there was something different, something he couldn't sort out. Hyde laughed, watching her dance awkwardly (in that funny way only drunk Jackie could dance). He was propped up on the ornate pillar, one hand in the pocket of his pants and the other holding his beer.  

 For a few months he really thought he could get her back. In fact, after he "divorced" Samantha, maybe he had one more chance. And even when she and Fez started that horrible thing, Hyde knew... He just knew it was not real. But just like that she left  _again_  and well... life was happening and everything was already behind. But as much as he'd spent the past three years repeating to himself that he'd forgotten her, seeing her again only made him feel pathetic. Jackie had been the best thing in his entire life and he'd ruined everything for a change. Now all he could do was watch her dance from far, once in a while. Should be enough.  

 "Dance with me uncle Hyde?" Betsy appeared in front of him, bouncing around with her cute baby voice. She, in fact, was the person who was having the most fun at the party. Her round cheeks were reddish and her light brown curls danced with her jumps. 

 "Of course, angel." He lifted her and propelled her up a few times. The childish laughter made itself clear above the music. 

Hyde rolled with her in his lap to the middle of the dancefloor, where he swayed pathetically for the next four songs. Until Betsy got tired and wanted to come down to run off. Since he was already there, Hyde decided to dance a little and join his friends.  

But in the next minute he discovered that staying there was impossible. Jackie no longer danced in a funny way (that way she used to dance like when she was super drunk) now she moved her small body in slow waves, rolling her hips as her hair moved magically. He couldn't take his eyes off her and for a moment he wondered if she wasn't seducing him on purpose. Actually, he was pretty sure she was doing on purpose. And that kind of made him crazy. He might had come closer, even without realizing it. She was very hot, shit, super-hot and her perfume was making him inebriated. Hyde came a little closer and had to struggle very hard to keep his hands off from her thin waist. Waist that once he had the right to touch. To hold. It was a disaster, a little more and he would have a hard on like a damn horny teenager he used to be. And after this horrible thought, he decided to sit down a bit. 

 

It was very late when the hall began to get empty. Fez slept on the table and Brooke tried to shove Kelso into the car, where Betsy was already asleep in the backseat. Donna and Eric were talking on a small couch across the room, Donna had her legs on his lap. They both looked exhausted and happy. Hyde ran his eyes around the room in search of her. By the time he found her, staggering toward the exit with shoes in one hand, a bottle of champagne in another. Would she stay at the Hotel? Would she drive? Hyde jumped to his feet and hurried to reach her, worried.  

"Jackie?" He called as he approached her already in the street. She turned her body to him, shaking his dark long hair. 

 "Steven!" Jackie threw herself at him, who barely had time to catch her. "Oh, Steven!" She laughed to herself. "I think I'm drunk."  

"Do you? Well, I'm pretty sure." She laughed even more, crossing her small arms on his body. 

 "Do ya want some?" She held out the bottle to him. 

 "Of course, baby, give it to me." The man took the bottle from her hand and discreetly left it on the entry wall, still holding her under his left arm. 

"Where were you going?" He asked. 

"What do ya mean?'' She looked very confused. ''I was going home.'' 

''Chicago?'' 

 ''Oh!'' Jackie turned away from him and stared at the dark street toward the direction of the old Burkharts' house and released a long sigh. 

"It's okay, baby. Come on, let's go to the Formans.'' 

Hyde pulled her lightly by the hand and they both walked down the sidewalk. Jackie let his weight fall on him and the man settled her beneath his arm, caressing lightly the skin of her bare arm with his fingers. The touch felt good. 

"Steven?" She called him down after a few minutes in silence. 

 "Yes." 

 "I miss you." Jackie sighed, making the man's guts twist. "So much." 

 "I miss you too, Jackie.'' 

 Silence. 

"I wish we could go back, ya know? I mean, in time.'' She started. 

 ''Yeah.'' His voice was hoarse and slow as if something bothered his throat. ''I know.''  

He really did. 

"But you're all right, man.'' He brought her closer, moving his hand more energetically. 

 ''No I'm not.'' She moaned. 

 ''Come on, Jackie?!'' 

 ''I'm lonely, Steven. I'm all by myself.'' 

''Hey!'' He stopped walking and made her look at him, lightly touching her chin. "You got Kelso and Brooke, don’t you?" 

 ''Yeah, I guess. But they are a family.'' Hyde was silent for a moment so she asked, rolling her tongue. "Ya know?'' 

 He nodded.  

"And your friends, I mean, from TV?" He tried. 

"They are a bunch of idiots... And it's just... Sometimes I... I wish..." She drifted her eyes from his. 

"What?" Hyde lifted her face again.  

They stared at each other for a long moment and it was getting difficult for Hyde to control his breathing, to keep his hands off her. 

Jackie approached him slowly and Steven realized what she wanted when the woman lifted her body standing on tiptoe and leaning toward him. Hyde leaned closer and lowered his head a little and waited. She didn't seem to be sure but she still stared at him deep in his eyes and his soul.  

And Hyde just waited.  

Until the raven hair girl touched her mouth at his lower lip with a delicate kiss and then moved away a bit, without taking her big doe eyes from him. Jackie was the one waiting now. 

So Steven kissed her. With both hands he held her face firmly and carefully and kissed her slowly. He savored every taste of her. And it was like coming home after a long and terrible journey. It seemed so right. He never thought he'd feel those lips again. They were sweet and well designed and perfect for him. They were delicious. Just like he remembered.  

The kiss deepened and he lowered his hands to her neck. Jackie let go of the shoes she held and touched him, lifting her delicate hands up his arms and leaving them on his shoulders. Her touch was like fire and lit parts of him that had been asleep for a long time. 

"I want you, Stev.'' She whispered against his lips. And it boosted him like gasoline over a low fire. 

His mind stopped thinking and he got on another state more animalistic. 

With his right arm he circled her waist and lifted her off the ground, walking right after. Jackie laughed, letting her head drop over his shoulder. He smiled too. A full smile.  

"Oh! My shoes!'' Hyde looked back and saw the little shoes left on the sidewalk. 

He turned and walked over to them, setting her on the ground to catch them and lifting her up again. The Formans' house was not far away, and he walked with her upright in his arm. Even if Jackie protested and begged to be put on the floor, her light laughter told him the other way around.  

And when her body softened and her head weighed on his shoulder, Hyde knew she had fallen asleep. A warm feeling took over him. He tucked her into his lap and climbed the stairs with her. Laurie's old room was already occupied so he went straight to Eric's. Hyde laid her down on the bed and picked up a duvet to cover her. 

''Stev? '' She called him tenderly, curling her tongue and sinking deeper into the bed. 

 ''Hm?'' He moaned back, sitting on the edge of the bed and pulling the hair from her pretty face. 

 She had her eyes closed and her face was very calm. The brunette was so quiet that he wondered if she was really awake. 

"I still..." she mumbled, but the words stayed in the air and disappeared as she fell asleep for good. 

"Still what?'' He asked. But she was already gone.  


	3. The Right One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!
> 
> Tell me what you guys are thinking!  
> Hope you like it.

Milwaukee 

June 03, 1983 

Afternoon 

  

Hyde couldn't concentrate. Working was an impossible task when Jackie's face danced in his mind. What did that night mean? What did she intend to say after that "still"? Of course, he couldn't sleep after leaving her in Eric's old room. Of course, he spent the rest of the night awake, thinking and twisting in his cot in the basement and thinking all over again. And by the morning he was determined to follow the flow, maybe inviting her to something... just to be sure there would be some flow.  

But of course Jackie would wake up with no memory of the night before, embarrassed and uncomfortable, apologizing to everyone for the inconvenience. Even worst, apologizing to him for whatever nonsense she had done or said.  

Great. Excellent.  

And yet he could think of nothing but that kiss. 

 "Hyde?'' He heard Ted's distant voice. ''Dude?'' 

 ''What?'' 

"I called you, like, a hundred times!" Ted, WB's secretary was standing in the office he temporarily occupied with a funny expression. 

 ''What you want?'' Hyde asked in a bad mood. 

 ''Donna's on the phone.'' 

''Oh, send her then.'' 

 His phone rang twice before he answered. 

 ''Hey Hyde! How you doing?'' Donna's voice sounded excited on the other side. 

 ''Fine, fine. And you, Mrs. Forman?'' He joked. 

 ''Oh no! Looks like Kitty will show up at any moment and answer for me.'' Hyde laughed. ''Besides, make me look old.'' 

 ''Yeah man, you're a lady now. And it can get worse, you're a Mrs. Forman.'' 

 ''Shut up, Hyde. Listen, I just called to make sure you're coming over for dinner this night.'' 

 ''Dinner?'' He didn't remember agreed with anything. 

"Yeah, we talked about getting together to eat the leftovers from the party.'' She explained. 

 ''Oh. Cool.'' 

"What's that suppose to mean, Hyde?" Donna asked. 

 ''Who's going?'' 

 ''Well, the usual." He needed something more specific. 

"You mean Eric, Fez... Kelso?" 

"Oh, Kelso won't make it. He and Brooke already had plans.''  

 ''Who else?'' He tried again. 

"What's going on, Hyde?" The redhead asked suspiciously. 

''Nothing.'' 

 ''Hyde?'' She insisted. 

The man cleared his throat and took some time. 

"Well, I just wanted to know if we were going to get all the gang together." Shit! He regretted the instant he spoke. 

 "Oh! You want to know about Jackie.'' Shit! Shit! Shit! 

 ''What? Donna, please don't be ridiculous." He sounded exaggerated and all he got was a laugh. 

"Something happened between you two?" 

''What... No!'' 

Silence.  

''Wait did she told you something?'' 

Donna laughed again and Hyde rolled her eyes. ''Donna.'' He grunted. 

 ''OK I'm sorry! Listen, Hyde, she didn't tell me anything, okay?'' 

 ''Course.'' Hyde murmured in a strong tone of sarcasm. 

 ''Come have dinner! We'll talk about it tonight.'' 

 ''I don't want to talk about it.'' 

 ''Sure! See you later.'' 

 ''Urgh! Fine!'' 

 

** 

Chicago 

Evening 

  

Jackie sipped the coffee again, she was about to start recording and she felt a little nervous. Very stupid, since she had been doing it for almost a year.  

Well, she knew the chills in her body had nothing to do with the show. After all, she was feeling it since last Saturday. The wedding day. The big problem was she had this strange feeling that she did something she shouldn't. From the moment she had received the invitation she felt a sort of omen, like a warning in the back of her mind. And what did she do? He drowned the omen in champagne. And knowing that Steven took her to the Forman's' house wasn't helping at all. In fact, it only made everything worse. Had she said or done something? But what?   

"Jackie, we're ready!" Fiona warned her. 

The brunette got up and tried to concentrate. Jackie shared the presentation of a not-too-long program in the middle of the afternoon with an older star. It was almost always about fashion and trend, worlds of celebrities and gossip. That kind of stuff. And it was very natural for her and people were starting to loved it. She was funny, had charisma and a sharp tongue. Frankly, Jackie was born for television. 

Usually after recording, she and the team gathered to briefly discuss the guidelines for the next day. But since it was Friday night there was no meeting that day and everyone was getting ready for a Happy Hour at Daniel's Pub.  

"You coming, Jackie?" Fiona, her supervisor and closest friend, asked her. 

"Oh, not today. I need to rest for the weekly meeting tomorrow.'' 

"You shouldn't worry about that since we're all going to Daniel's." The blonde one replied.  

Fiona was the only woman there who really liked her company and talked to her out of work. Jackie had never been good at making new friends. Most people didn't quite understand her. And generally, women didn't like her very much. But, well, that she could understand. That’s why Jackie didn't wanted to refuse Fiona's invitations, which was pleasant company. 

 "You're right! But I've had a long week and I'm…'' 

 ''Oh, Jackie! Shut up and let's go.'' Diaz interrupted them as he passed. Jackie and Fiona laughed.  

 ''Come on! Whatever is bothering you it will pass soon.'' 

 ''All right, all right!'' 

 

The pub was a quiet and reserved place. It was perfect for the TV people who could enjoyed themselves more freely. She wasn't exactly a celebrity, but there was always someone looking for something. She mostly had good fun with the colleges, but not that day. Fiona tried to talk to her a few times, but she drifted the conversation. The truth is that Jackie was tightly shut about her life at Point Place. Whenever someone questioned something she got uncomfortable. But it was all in the past. Well, at least until the damn wedding last weekend. She was fine. She was perfectly fine, except for that occasional feeling of loneliness. And today, she felt more homesick than ever.  

She left the table where she was and went for another drink. She asked for a Manhattan and sat there a little. Her life needed to return to normal, urgently. 

 "Jackie Burkhart?" She heard the male voice calling her name and turned slightly. The tall man looked at her with an open smile. Hair trimmed, beard recently made, blue eyes. Expensive suit, she checked. He was very handsome.  

''Don't you remember me?'' 

"I..." Jackie studied him for a few seconds. Nothing. She let out a tense laugh. "Sorry.'' 

''Andrew Haywood.'' The man shrugged, calm, holding his hand to greet her. ''We met at the Canal's last Christmas party.'' 

''Oh!'' Jackie took his hand. The grip was firm and gentle. ''New guy from Politics?'' 

''That's right. Do you mind?'' He motioned to sit next to her. 

''Be my guest!'' 

''Thank you.'' Andrew ordered a double dose of whiskey. "So ... how did I never find you again?" 

"Well, did you look for me?'' And Jackie smile at the way he laughed now, a little embarrassed. 

"Maybe I did, maybe not. But I'm starting to think I should've looked better.  

She laughed and took a sip of her drink. ''Are you enjoying your new job?'' 

''Yes! I can finally talk about what I like. It gets easier.'' 

"It really does, doesn't it?'' He nodded. 

''I have a secret.'' The man paused dramatically and she looked at him, waiting. ''I love your show.'' 

"And why this is a secret?" Jackie laughed, pretending to be offended. 

'Well, I've always been the serious guy. The guy who talks about politics or something like that. It's kind of bad for my reputation.'' 

"But do you like fashion?" She asked and he smiled. 

''Not really.'' They both laughed. 

"So why do you watch it?" 

"Well, I guess I kind of have a crush on one of the hosters.'' 

He was so charming. Jackie felt good in the middle of that unpretentious flirt. And looking deep into those limpid blue eyes her heart skipped a beat. 

She always had loved blue eyes. 

 

** 

  

Madison 

Night 

  

Hyde was very relieved that Donna hadn't mentioned the conversation they had at any time during the dinner. She hadn't even given him an accusing look. And for a moment he thought he was safe. But when he said he needed to leave and Donna offered to take him to the car, he knew he was screwed. 

''Hey, Donna.'' He said when they came out through the gate. "Whatever you think you have to tell me, you don't.'' 

The redhead smiled. 

"I wasn't going to say anything.'' 

''Better.'' He walked to the car. 

''Hyde?'' He heard his name and stopped. "You should call her." 

The man let out a long sigh. Call her? It was the biggest bullshit I'd ever heard.  

"To tell what? Donna, don't be crazy.'' He turned to her. His shoulders aching with tension. 

''That you looove her.'' Hyde rolled his eyes and avoided a smile. ''I'm serious! I have her apartment number. You could say... I do not know... that you're sorry.'' 

"I have nothing to sorry for.'' 

''OK.'' She raised her hands in surrender. "I just want you to be happy." 

Hyde laced a sarcastic laugh in his throat. 

''I'm fine, thank you.'' 

''If you say so.'' 

At least that's what he thought until a week ago. He was fine. He had his obligations at Grooves, but things were easier. And he still managed the store at Point Place, which was really his. He had just bought his own apartment in Milwaukee, which at the time was completely empty, but it was much more than he thought he'd have. And his project to open a record label was starting to get off the paper (the city's independent rock scene had a lot of potential). Hyde had one or two phones right for lonely nights. But to be honest, no other woman had left him as surrendered as Jackie. She really took over his life with that possessive way. Took him over. And Jackie might have been the right girl if she hadn't pushed him so hard and if he hadn't fucked up. If they both hadn't been so stupid. Maybe, if ... 

What if ... What if ... 

Hyde's head was boiling as he drove back to Milwaukee. A small part of him wanted very much to call her. What was she doing now? This's so silly. Jackie had a life in another state. Just because she'd opened a window of hope on a drunken night doesn't mean he have a chance. Or does it mean? Did he even want a chance? A shiver ran through his body as the kiss invaded his mind. Maybe the answer was quite obvious. 

When he arrived at his apartment and faced the empty space, he felt a small discomfort. Maybe he wasn't used to live alone, it's been less than a week. Or maybe it was the empty, silent space. He took a deep breath, _it's all right_ he repeated for himself. Hyde went to the balcony and lit a joint, feeling better in the cool breeze. The memory of that terrible day occurred to him. It was in that same town a few years ago. When he tried to get to know WB for the first time. The feeling of having an empty hole in the place of his lungs was still very clear in his memory. And then suddenly a glimpse came to him, a flashback of small hands caressing his face and a very specific scent invaded his nose. The big brown eyes told him that everything was fine. And to know that Jackie would never ever be there to calm him down caused him physical pain. When his joint was finished, Hyde picked up the phone. 

"Hello." Eric's voice sounded through the device. 

"Forman, man, is Donna there?'' 

"Hyde, are you okay?" His friend sounded worried. 

"Yes, hm, I just need to talk to Donna for a minute." 

Then the man waited, listening only to the static of the line. 

''Hi, Hyde.'' Finally he heard the redhead's voice. 

"Is it possible for you to give me her number without pissing me off?" 

''Perhaps.'' 

''Donna, please.'' He closed his eyes in exhaustion. 

''Just kidding. Give me a sec.'' 

Before dialing Jackie's apartment number, the man went over what he planned to say for the hundredth time. Nothing specific, nothing special. Just an invitation, and if she accepted, he would know. He checked the time, one-thirty, maybe it was a bit late, but he needed to call. He wasn't going to be a coward right now. 

However, as he listened to the ringing without anyone answering, all his energy was fading. And realizing that Jackie obviously wouldn't be home waiting for him to call gave him a shock of reality. What was he thinking? It was too late, after all. 


	4. The Ending

 

Chicago 

August 14, 1983 

Night  

  

Jackie felt light and a little anesthetized, it was the wine. She and Andrew had a romantic dinner in her apartment and the girl was feeling happy. The man in front of her was telling a story that seemed amusing, but she wasn't sure because her attention was focused on his features. Andrew was really handsome. Funny. And kind. And romantic. And successful. And they were dating for over two months now and maybe, well, maybe Jackie was in love. 

"Oh damn." Andrew complained, looking at his watch. "It's very late, I have to go." 

"You should stay." The words jumped out of her mouth. 

"Stay?'' A smirk decorated his face. 

"Yeah. I mean, if you want to, you can spend the night.'' 

 ''OK.'' He rubbed his hands in his pants. ''Okay, yeah. And tomorrow we can go together to the Channel.'' 

''Looks great.'' 

Andrew nodded and they both stood there smiling at each other. Until the moment got a little awkward. 

''So... I'm going to take a shower. Make yourself home.'' 

Jackie took a while in the shower, put some body lotion and chose a nice - but not so sluty - panties.  She chose a pretty nightdress and wore a robe over it. And then she left the bedroom. 

"Do you always sleep this beautiful, pretty thing?" Andrew asked from the couch and Jackie smiled, stupidly shy. 

"Do you want to take a shower, too?" She sat beside him. 

"Would be nice. Do you have some clothes it would, you know, fits?"  

''Oh! Let's see. I think I have some sweatpants that Michael left here when I just moved.'' 

''Michael your ex-boyfriend?'' 

''Yes, he slept here a few times until I get used to living alone'' Andrew was looking at her with a confused look. ''Oh, not what you thinking! He's a good friend, besides he's married.'' 

The man raised his hands and smile at her as the two of them entered Jackie's bedroom. She opened the closet doors, then walked into it with Andrew right behind her. The space was small and it was impossible not to be aware of his physical presence. 

"Here.'' Jackie handed him the pants. "Hmm, but I have no T-shirt.'' 

"What about this one?" Andrew pulled a black T-shirt off a shelf below. The brunette's heart ran crazy.  

''Oh no! Not this one, it's... it's too old.'' 

''Do you like Led Zeppelin?'' Andrew made a funny scowl of disgust but Jackie couldn't smile back. 

"It's just an old T-shirt. Give it to me.'' She took it from his hands really fast. A drastic move that made the boy look at her curiously. 

"No problem!'' He said slowly. ''The pants are pretty good.'' 

When Andrew left her alone, her mind traveled to a distant place in the past. 

 

 _She was at home and wore the_ _Ledzeppelin_ _T-shirt she won for her birthday. It was late when Steven showed up at her house to say something she didn't remember by now. But she remembered perfectly the grin on his face when he saw her wearing the T-shirt he gave her._ _Later,_ _Steven ended up finding out she was alone_ _for a week_ _and then there was a little arguing and some crying and they ended up in her bed with the boy playing with her hair._  

 _"That’s it, doll, you won't be here alone_ _anymore_ _. Pack some things up, you'll sleep with me in the basement.''_  

 _And Jackie's heart leapt. That was_ _what_ _she was trying to avoid just_ _be_ _cause_ _she wasn't ready. Well, she wanted_ _very bad_ _, of course, Steven was really hot. Besides, they had done everything except the real thing. But Steven wasn't Michael. She was aware that her boyfriend had so many experiences and Jackie, well, just stupid Michael. And the ex-boyfriend wasn't a big deal. And as much as the make outs were really good she often wondered if she could satisfy him._ _She was afraid_ _he'd_ _realize she wasn't, let's say, a big deal._  

 _"Steven, I'm not s_ _o s_ _ure_ _about it.''_  

 _"Don't be silly, babe. Mr. Forman won't know and it's just for now. Until we figure this_ _thing_ _out.''_  

 _''_  O _K._ _''_ _She nodded uncertainly._  

 _..._  

 _She took the cutest baby doll out of her backpack and noticed that her hand was shaking a little._ This is it, no escape from there. Why does it feel like the first time? _She wondered._  

 _''I'm going to change.'' She pointed to the basement bathroom._  

 _''Why?'' Steven asked very distracted as he_   _make_ _the bed for them_ _._  

 _''_ _You know, I'm going to put something_ _cute_ _.''_   _H_ _e turned to her_ _with a full smile_ _._  

 _"_ _Ledzeppelin_ ' _s_ _shirt_ _was the_ _cutest_ _thing I've ever seen you wear.''_   _And Jackie smiled back, her heart_   _pumping_ _wildly._  

 _When she came out of the bathroom wearing_   _the_ _T-shirt and cotton pants, Steven was already lying down. He opened a space on the_ _cot_ _for her and Jackie settled in beside him_ _in the small bed._  

 _''Everything_ _'s all right?_ _''_ _The boy asked her, noti_ _ci_ _ng how tense she was._  

 _Jackie stared at him for a long moment before_   _answering_ _._  

 _"Steven, I_ _... I_ _don_ _'_ _t know if I'm_ _int_ _o_ _-_ _''_  

 _"Hey" he interrupted her,_ _touching_ _her cheek softly_ _. "We're not going to do anything. Just sleep, doll.''_  

 _''Just sleep?'' Her heart spun around. As much as Jackie struggled not to compare her current boyfriend to Michael, she did it very often. Just sleep was impossible in her previous relationship._  

 _"Course!'' Hyde's voice was calm._  

 _''But I thought, since I'm here…''_  

 _''Jackie. Nothing will happen unless you really, really want to.'' He pulled her to lie on his chest. ''Come here, baby.''_  

 _The girl allowed herself to fall into his body, curled up between_ _his_ _arms and_ _feeling_ _the weight of Steven's leg on her._  

 _''_ _Steven?_ _''_  

 _''_   _H_ _m_ _?''_  

 _"You know me and_ _..._ _well,_ _do you know_ _I'm not a virgin_ _anymore_ _, do_ _n't_ _you?"_  

 _''It was pretty hard to ignore this information.''_  

 _Jackie knew he knew. But she wanted to confirm, after all, she didn_ _'_ _t understand_ _why_ _he wasn_ _'_ _t acting like a_   _regular boy_ _and being a complete asshole about it._  

 _"It's just... you're not_ _push_ _ing..._ _any_ _thing._ _'' H_ _e ran his fingers down her arm._  

 _"And I_ _won't.._ _. Jackie, we had a really hot summer and we're together now_ _and..._ _dammit, I want you_ _so bad_." _Sheshivered from head to foot. "But I'll never push_ _you._ _"_  

 _S_ _he believed. Jackie trusted Hyde with all her might._ _So_ _s_ _he leaned over and gave him a soft kiss._  

 _"I'm not Kelso, doll._ _''_ _He whispered as he cupped her chin._  

 _"Oh, I_ ' _m aware_ _that._ _''_  

 _And as much as she compared them all the time, Jackie always knew Steven was_ _way_ _much better,_   _like_ _,_ _in_   _everything._  

  

** 

  

Chicago  

August 28, 1983 

Morning 

  

Hyde was in a bad mood, but all they could see was his Zen mask beneath his usual glasses. It was the third time he visited Kelso's home in Chicago and that Sunday the gang was celebrating his friend's twenty-fifth birthday. Betsy welcomed them by introducing her family of baby dolls and Brooke's belly was already rounded. And everything was perfectly fine until Jackie arrived.  

With a guy. Her boyfriend.  

And all that crazy stuff in his stomach turned into a very bitter taste in his mouth. The tall polished guy came up to him with a plastic smile on his moron face and his hand outstretched. Hyde wanted to punch something but he smiled instead. 

"I'm Andrew Haywood.'' The guy said. 

''Nice to meet you, I'm Steven Hyde, Jackie's ex-boyfriend.'' The man made a confused face and Hyde saw Jackie losing her face color.  

''Ookaay.'' He spoke slowly, then looked at her. ''I thought Michael was...'' 

''Oh, me too.'' Kelso appeared just in time with a blunt smile on his face.  ''I 'm Michael Kelso, by the way. The most handsome of her ex _s_ '' 

''Hi.'' The guy was very uncomfortable and Hyde felt a little better. ''Oh, I'm sorry. Happy birthday, dude.'' 

They greeted each other and when everyone thought the situation couldn't get any more awkward Fez approached. 

''Hey, don't forget about me. I'm an ex-boyfriend too. Not the cutest, but you can think of me like the smoothest dark chocolate'' 

''OK guys.'' Jackie held up her hands and smiled nervously. ''Very funny.''  

''Yeah, very funny.'' Hyde nodded and glared at her who pulled her newest boyfriend by the hand and whispered a "sorry" to him. 

  

The guy called Jackie  _pretty thing_. Hyde wanted to vomit. But he thought it couldn't get any worse, until he found out the asshole was a liberal Democrat who worked on a damn politic show. Great. He was a suck-ass of The Men. The worst kind. Seriously, now it could  _not_  get worse. 

But Hyde was wrong, again. 

It was at this quick moment, after lunch when they were all in the living room, that Steven saw. It was just this little thing. The Liberal Prince had both hands on Jackie's shoulders and the jerk bent down to her, whispered something in her ear and then Jackie laughed, turned to him and did this small movement with her head, and then he brushed away her dark hair and dropped his disgusting hand at her waist, giving a small squeeze there. And Jackie gave him _that_  look. It was quick and discreet. But Hyde saw it. 

They already had sex. 

It was as clear as the day. He knew that look. He'd seen, like, a million times. He'd recognized from miles away. Of course they were having sex cause they were dating e they were adults. But to deduce and to see it were two very different things. And against all his efforts, his mind took him a few years back. 

  

 _Jackie was in h_ _is_ _cot_ _in the basement_ _and she was naked. It was cold, so the two of them were covered up to their necks._   _They had just finished having sex a_ _nd he_ _was feeling_ _so great that his body was soft._  

 _''_   _Puddin_ ' _?"_   _She called him and he answered with a groan._ _''Are you_ _sleeping?_ _''_  

 _''_ _No._ _''_  

 _''Are you_ _tired?_ _''_ _Hyde opened his eyes to see her_ _and_   _she had that exact look_ _._   _Therefore,_ _he raised an eyebrow._  

 _''_ _Jesus, woman! What_ _do_   _you want?_ _''_  

 _"Well, I thought maybe before I go back to Donna's you could... you know..."_  

 _"No, I don_ _'_ _t.''_ _He lied_   _just to see her ask._  

 _"Oh, Steven, you know.''_  

 _"I have no idea what you're talking about._ _'' H_ _e rolled_   _his body_ _over her._  

 _The_   _girl_ _rolled her eyes and let a small smile draw her face._  

 _"You just want me to say it out loud." She said, raising her fingertips up h_ _is_ _s_ _houlders._  

 _"Jackie, I don_ _'_ _t have a crystal ball. Do you want to do it again?_ _'' S_ _he s_ _hoo_ _k her head_ _no_ _._  

 _"Steven, I w_ _o_ _n_ _'_ _t_ _ask._ _''_  

 _''_   _O_ _kay then._ _''_ _Hyde_   _moved_ _, lying down next to her._  

 _"C'mon?'' She nudged him with h_ _er_ _elbow and he laughed, shrugging._  

 _Then Jackie_ _kissed him softly, gave him that look and said_ _:_ _"Are you gonna make me beg?"_  

 _"I l_ _ove_ _it when you beg." Jackie rolled her eyes and smiled._ _H_ _e kissed her mouth and left little kisses on her neck._   _''All right. But you have to stay the night.'' He spoke against her skin._  

 _''_ _A_ _wn''_ _She moaned._ _''_ _I have to go back._ _''_  

 _"There's nothing I can do_ _then_ _."_  

 _"_ _OK! OK! I_ _'ll_ _stay. But make it last.''_  

 _''_ _Oh, babe, I can_ _last_ _all night._ _''_ _H_ _e_   _whispered, just to see_   _the fire in her eyes_ _._  

 _His mouth made a descent path, spreading kisses all over the small body. He went down even further, until he had to enter completely under the deck._  

  

"Are you even listening to me?" Brooke waved her hand in front of his eyes.'' 

''What?'' 

"I asked you a question, Hyde.'' She had a funny expression, but the he felt sick. 

''Yeah, yes. I'll just take some air outside.'' 

The backyard wasn't very big but it had some green stuff, so Hyde set at the balcony. 

"Hey." He heard Jackie's voice right behind him.  

"Hey" he replied. 

"Are you ok?" 

"Yeah, how 'bout you?" Hyde looked back, looking for Liberal Prince, but didn't saw him. 

"I'm fine, thanks." She sighed. "I was thinking about you the other day." 

"Were you?" The man was a little bit surprised. 

"Yes... Listen, I think we should be friends'' 

Hyde laughed. That was some crazy talk. 

"We're already friends, Jackie." 

"No... Yes, but..." She stammered. ''Real friends, like we used to be.''  

It hurt a little, even though he didn't know exactly why. 

''You're right. We used to be good friends'' 

"I miss that." 

''Me too'' 

"So... are we good?" The big doe eyes waited for an answer and looked a little bit concerned. 

"You bet, Burkhart." He smiled. 

She smiled back and got up. It sounded like a fresh start for them but felt like the very end. She was closing the door. There was something he could do about it? Probably not. 


	5. The turnaround

Point Place

December 25, 1983

Afternoon

 

When the phone rang at the Forman's house, Hyde didn't pay much attention to how Mrs. Forman sounded excited with her highest laughter and the little jumps. However, he got completely caught when Mrs. Forman called Donna in the kitchen saying that Jackie was on the phone.

He tried to stay Zen and kept set on Red's armchair, playing cool. But when everyone heard Donna's voice get louder with excitement, the man felt a rustle in his stomach.

''Donna.'' Eric called her when she was back at the living room. ''What's going on?''

The redhead smiled at her husband and looked around with enthusiasm but as if she had just noticed something sad her smile faded and she looked at Hyde with her eyes full of pity or something.

"Jackie's getting married." She said. And Hyde remained static feeling like the world has opened beneath his feet.

That was it.

 

**

 

Chicago

December 24, 1983

Evening

  

It was a nice restaurant and quite crowded even though it was Christmas Eve. Jackie had this weird feeling that night was important. Maybe because it was Christmas and it was the first one she would spended it without feeling like an intruder in Brooke's mother's house.

Her boyfriend was dressed in an elegant suit and had a sparkle in his eyes. Maybe it was the magic of Christmas. They talked and laughed all through the dinner and Jackie was so happy. It was the happiest it could get. Like she was living in a freaking dream.  

"Jackie, I need to tell you something.'' Suddenly the boyfriend's face got serious.

''...Right.''

"Do you know that Detroit TV channel I was talking about?" He started, a small smile on his face.

''Yes.'' Was that good or bad?

''They saw my show and made me an offer!''

''Andy! That's great!'' She smiled, still unsure if was good or bad.

''I hope you don't get angry about this part...''

''What part?''

"I told them I'd accept... on one condition.''

''Condition?'' 

"I showed them your show and told them you're my fiancée and I could only accept the offer if you had an opportunity as well.''

''What?'' She was dizzy.

"Jackie, they loved you!"

''Andrew, what... I don’t get it!''

''Jackie.'' He holded her hand on the table and made her look at him. "You're coming with me to Detroit, and-" Andrew sigh and pulled a little box out of his pocket. "Will you marry me, pretty thing?"

''Oh my God!'' She covered her face with both hands in complete surprise. The ring was beautiful, a small diamond stone shining among some smaller crystals. She lost her breath for a moment.

"Will you?''

Jackie looked at the man in front of her. That was it. It was her life happening right before her eyes and for a brief moment she felt apart of it, like a viewer, a dreamer.

_Wasn't it a little bit too soon?_

''Yes!'' She answered. Fuck this stupid feeling.

''Yes?'' The boyfriend wanted to confirm, and she just nodded.

They stood up for a kiss and she closed her eyes as she felt the lips of her groom. Words floated in her mind like flashing neon lights on the deepest and darkest place on her brain.

Detroit.

How far away was that?

Marry him.

Andrew. 

Steven Hyde.

**

 

Chicago

January 10, 1894

Morning

 

The phone rang on Jackie's small desk. She was officially disconnected from her show on the channel, but still had some issues to solve before leaving the city. When she answered the phone automatically, she wasn't expecting to hear that unique voice.

''Fez?''

"Jackie, you need to come home.'' And then she knew something was wrong.

''What happened?''

''Red had a heart attack and... You need to come.''

''Ok, ok, I'm on my way.'' Her heart was jumping too hard. "I'm going as fast as I can."

 

**

 

Point Place

Evening

 

It was very serious. Red was in a kind of induced coma while the doctors tried to stabilize him after the surgery in the heart. Jackie was sitting next to Eric in the waiting room for about two hours. Kitty, who found him unconscious in the garage that morning and did the cardiac massage until the rescue arrived, had a nervous breakdown and was medicated in a bed in the hospital she had worked for so many years. Eric seemed to be calm, but the dark-haired girl knew he was trying very hard to hold up the shit together.

"Sorry, Eric, but I couldn't find her.'' Donna reappeared after failing to locate Laurie. "But I left a message with a girl who said she could reach her.''

"All right." Eric shrugged. "She'll find a way to come."

Donna sat down beside her husband and rubbed her back then turned to Jackie.

"Where's Andrew?" Oh Gosh.

"Han, Andrew couldn't come. He was very busy with the moving stuff.'' Jackie felt sick the second she heard the words out loud. It was very unsensitive.

''Oh! Well, that's good.''

"Yes, I suppose.''

Jackie was tired but stayed there with Fez so Eric and Donna could go home and rest for a bit. The night fell down quickly and it was past midnight when Steven showed up. He was too much quiet and too much troubled. Something in her head popped out in the moment she saw him and hadn't stopped bothering her yet.

When Eric and Donna returned it was almost 2am, Jackie wanted to ask for Steven, but as much as she was concerned, she thought it wasn't appropriate to bother the couple with that.

''Where you will stay?'' Donna asked her.

"I'm going straight to the hotel." She answered simply.

"You don't have to, Jackie.'' Eric said. "You stay at home.''

"Oh, really, there's no-''

''Please.'' He cut her off. "It's your house too and you can stay in Laurie's room."

''Okay then.'' 

Jackie drove straight to the Forman's house and when she arrived she saw the El Camino parked in the driveway. She swallowed the lump in her throat. The house was completely dark and she turned on the kitchen light as she entered. Was he sleeping? Probably not, Steven looked very disturbed. She thought it was best to check the basement. Maybe he needed something.

She went downstairs in silence and saw him sitting on the couch, in a half light. His head was tucked in his hands, his body leaning forward and breathing heavily. He wasn't well, definitely.

''Steven?'' She called him as soft as she could be.

The man just twisted his head a little to see her and then returned it to his position. Jackie stood there for a while not really sure what to do next. Maybe she should leave him alone.

''Do you need something?'' She whispered.

But Hyde didn't answer.

So she sat next to him on the old couch and try to touch him, but she gave up.

''It's my fault.'' He finally said, his voice sounding muffled.

"Steven, it isn’t-" 

"I should be here. I knew Eric wouldn't come back anymore, or Laurie, I should've stayed.'' He stood up abruptly. "I would've seen it in time and would've taken him to the hospital and Mrs. Forman-"

Then he stopped moving back and forth and stood very still, looking at her with frightened eyes. Jackie got up with her whole body vibrating.

''I can't breathe!'' He said, completely missing the color of his face.

''Steven, look at me.'' Her voice sounded firmer. ''Now breathe!''

''I can't.'' 

Jackie took the two steps that separated them and held his face gently between her hands, feeling his beard growing against her palms. The man looked into her eyes, very agitated.

''Breathe.'' She said quietly, eyes to eyes. ''I'm right here and it's already better. Just breathe with me.''

As if her hands and eyes and voice could make magic, Steven was slowly calming down.

"That's right, okay, you're doing great, baby.'' She kept saying. ''Keep looking at me.''

Then he was steady, breathing as normal as possible. Jackie still held him in her hands and she was captured by the memory of a very similar moment, years ago in Milwaukee. Back then, this was the moment he would kiss her. 

She found herself holding her own breath, suddenly aware of how close they were and feeling the overwhelming sensation of being under those stormy blue eyes. Maybe he wanted to kiss her. Maybe  _she_  should kiss him.

''I think I'm going to puke.'' He said very quickly, before running into the bathroom.

''Oh, gee. Ew Steven!''


	6. The Feeling of Familiarity

 

Point Place

January 11, 1894

Dawn

 

It was very cold, so Hyde covered himself on the couch with an old blanket while he was rolling up his joint. After he vomited terribly, Jackie vanished. He figured she had gone to bed or something. That's why he got surprised when he heard her coming down the stairs.

‘’I brought you some tea’’ She said, giving him a hot mug.

‘’Tea?’’ 

‘’Yes, Steven. Tea.’’ She got upset. ‘’Now, drink!’’

It was better to drink it anyway. God, he'd forgotten how bossy she was. Jackie sat beside him on the couch and Hyde stretched the blanket so she could cover herself too. They were silent. He could feel an atmosphere of strangeness and familiarity in the air and it was both good and bad. After smoke a few times, he passed the joint to her.

‘’God, I missed that!" She said, releasing the smoke slowly. It was pretty damn good view. "I can’t even remember the last time I smoked."

‘’Really? Man, I couldn’t live like this.’’ Jackie smiled. She looked tired and beautiful.

‘’You definitely couldn’t.’’ She agreed with him. ‘’Wow, this is good stuff, Steven.’’

‘’Well, is better than what we used to smoke’’

They stood in silence for a while, passing from one to the other.

‘’Something change after I left?’’ She nodded, bringing her legs up onto the couch and settling deeper into it.

‘’Kitty woke up. She was fine when I came here.’’

‘’That’s good.’’ Hyde's voice sounded funny because he was holding the smoke. "And Brooke?"

‘’Oh, she was still in labor when Michael called.’’ Jackie smiled, looking sleepy. "Jessica must be born by any minute."

‘’Two girls!’’ The man laughed. "Kelso is really paying his sins.’’

‘’Yeah... And Betsy is getting real fierce with her burns."

‘’Of course she is! She’s like an upgraded Kelso’’ They both laughed in kind a lethargic way.

‘’Hmm, Jackie... Thanks for, you know, helping me out earlier.’’ His voice got more serious.

‘’I’m here for you.’’ She looked at him with those big round and sleepy eyes. And then Hyde saw that same spark of hope he'd seen at Forman's wedding.

Maybe he was just too high. 

“You should get some rest." He said.

‘’Yeah.’’ She sighed, drifting her gaze. ‘’You'll be fine here?’’ 

"’Course, don’t worry about me.’’

"I think I'll go upstairs then."

But she didn’t move and Hyde noticed that she’d slept right there with her head on the arm of the couch and her legs curled up on her body. He should certainly wake her up and tell her to lie down on a proper bed. But there was that feeling again. Something too familiar. And he really wanted to keep that feeling for as long as he could. So he stretched out her legs on his lap (she was so small it was very simple to accommodate her) and settled himself between the sofa and the table. It didn’t take long for him to sleep as well.

 

**

Point Place

January 11, 1984

Morning

 

The pain in her neck was the first thing she noticed when she woke up. Steven wasn’t anywhere to be seen, so she just got up from the couch. When she opened the kitchen door she felt that wonderful smell.

‘’Hey. You woke up.’’ Hyde was standing in front of the stove, piling lots of pancakes. He looked so fine and... cute. ‘’There's coffee in the table.’’

‘’Thanks. Hmm, I guess I just fell asleep on the couch.’’

‘’Yeah.’’ He smiled one of those old smiles. ‘’Me too.’’

‘’You too?’’ Steven nodded. ‘’On the couch? Oh God, it must been terrible.’’

‘’Not really.” He shrugged, placing a hot pancake on the plate in front of her.  _What’s_ _that_ _supposed to mean?_  "I thought we could take some pancakes to the hospital."

“Sounds good. Hmm tastes good too.” She said with her mouth full. "Everything you do in the kitchen is good.’’

_Oh!_  Jackie instantly blushed with the memory of them doing it right there over the sink. And maybe Steven had the same memory cause right now he was laughing with his head down. Although embarrassed, she could only smile when she saw him shake his shoulders, trying not to show he was laughing.

“OK! Alright! Stop laughing, you bastard.”

Hyde looked at her with those blue eyes and she could swear there was something different in them. It took her a few seconds to move her gaze away.

“Well, I'm going to take a quick shower and we can go.’’

 ‘’OK. I’ll wait.”

 

They were in her car and suddenly all that intimacy they shared in the Forman’s house evaporated leaving only a strangeness as they silently ridded to the hospital. Jackie was feeling a churning in her stomach and as much as she repeated to herself that nothing was happening, she couldn’t stop thinking something was happening.

The breakfast Steven did was more than welcome and Eric, Donna and Kitty ate just about everything. Red was in the same situation, so Eric took his mother to rest at home. The morning passed slowly and quietly. When them got hungry again, Donna and Jackie left the hospital to look for a nearby lunch.

“Hyde looks better.” Donna said between the bites of her hamburger. Jackie nodded, biting her own snack. “I was worry about him.”

"He had one of those episodes where he can’t breathe, you know?"

"Jesus, was he that bad?" The raven-haired nodded once more. “What happened?”

"Oh, I calmed him down and then he puked.”

Donna giggled. “Oh, Hyde.”

They got silent chewing their lunch.

“You guys talked or... something?” The redhead asked and seemed like she was plotting something.

“Well, just the usual.”

"Course. But tell me about Andrew.” 

_Andrew._  She realized she hadn’t missed him yet.  

"Oh, you met him that day.”

“Yes, Jackie. But you're getting married. I mean, he's going to be part of the gang now.”

That thought had never occurred her before.

“Yeah, I guess.” Jackie cleared her throat and stared at her friend. “He's really great. We are very happy.” It sounded strange.

“Of course you are, it's your dream, right?" Why did she feel so uncomfortable?

“Right. You finished?”

“What?” Donna looked confused.

"Your lunch, did you finish?"

“Oh yeah. Yes.”

“So let's go!”

“Jackie?” Her friend held her hand on the table before she could get up. “You look weird.”

“No, I don’t.”

"Are you sure about the wedding?"  _What_ _the_ _hell!_

“Of course, Donna. Are your giant feet draining all the blood from your brain?”

“Well... OK, right. I’m sorry.”

...

"But do you love him?"

Did she love Andrew?

“Sure.”

The girl's mind was a huge storm of thoughts. And as much as Red's health was at the top, she constantly found herself thinking about her conversation with Donna earlier. But of course she loved Andrew. He was sweet and handsome, had a great family and put her at first place in his life. He risked himself to get her a job just so they could be together. God, what else could she want?

Laurie arrived early in the evening like she had come straight from a party or something. Everything got way too messy when everyone was at the hospital at the same time and Jackie slipped away. Jackie drove in automatic mode, took a warm shower and put on some comfortable clothes, well the most comfortable it could be without being tacky, like Donna’s clothes for example. Her mind was chaos and her heart was very small in her chest but she didn’t want to think about why. Just the thought of it hurted already.

When she was stepping down the stairs to the living room, Steven and Laurie arrived together.

“Jackie?” The blonde one was surprised to see her there.

"Oh, Jackie's staying here for now.” Hyde cleared up.

“Oh. Okay." Laurie shrugged. “I'm going upstairs, I'm very tired.”

“Just... I have some things in your room. I will get it.”

Jackie scrambled up the stairs quickly then came back carrying her bag with her.

"Do you have where to stay?" The older sister asked with a I-don't-really-care expression in her face.

“We'll figure it out.” The man replied catching the girls gaze.

“Fine then.” 

“Are you hungry?” Hyde asked her after Laurie disappeared from the living room.

“Yes.” Jackie smiled crossing her arms against herself.

"I'll make something for us." He said as he crossed the door to the kitchen.

“I can have a sandwich.” She followed him.

"That’s okay, I don’t mind.”

 

Jackie sat at the table and stood there watching him cook. He had a very specific way of moving, a way of using his hands. It was kind of hypnotic. Steven's food has always been very good. Whatever he cooked, even simple things, always got very tasty. And now, that Mac'n'Cheese seemed to be the best thing she'd ever eaten.

"Oh my God, Steven!" She sighed with her eyes closed. "I really missed your food.”

"And I really missed you."

The smile on her face vanished slowly as she opened her eyes with something like fear. Steven looked at her with that same intensity she saw earlier. And she felt that very familiar feeling of her heart liquifying inside her chest. Beating that same old song. 

_Oh,_ _fuck_ _._


	7. The Good Old Days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there!
> 
> This one is longer and I loved to write it. Hope u like it :)

Point Place 

January 12, 1894 

Morning 

 

 _"I know, Andrew, but he hasn’t woken up yet!"_  Steven heard Jackie's muffled voice coming from the kitchen, she was talking on the phone with the Liberal Prince. She struggled not to be heard, but her voice always got louder when she was angry. 

 _"It's not that hard to understand!"_  

... 

 _"He's family, Andrew."_  And as he suspected, the guy was a douchebag. 

 _..._  

 _"We’re moving only on Saturday."_ Jackie was moving to Detroit. He had forgotten that. 

...  

 _"Yeah, okay."_  

...  

 _"Okay, I promise! I'll be home tomorrow."_  

...  

"Bye." 

  

Where was the ‘ _I love you?’_  Jackie always used to say _‘I love you,_ _Steven’_ when she hung up. She entered the living room and stared up at him with a not-so-happy face. 

“Shall we?”  

“Everything's all right?” He asked as he got up. 

“Yes, everything's fine.” She became very strange to him after they had dinner, as if she was avoiding him or something. 

They entered his El Camino at the same time and it looked like a time travel, straight to a few years back. Jackie by his side on his car. It almost seemed like everything was fine. Almost. 

"Any news from Brooke and Jessica?" He made conversation. 

“They’re fine. Everything worked out just fine.” She smiled at least. 

“That's nice.” Hyde smiled too and looked at her. 

“Yes, it is.”  

How could she marry that guy? 

"So, you're really going to marry the Liberal Prince?" He asked, unable to contain himself. 

"Don’t call him like that.” 

“Why not? That's what he is.” Hyde shrugged, his eyes on the road. 

"Steven... He's not..." Jackie let the phrase die in the air. 

"You know I'm right, don’t you?" He stared at her. 

Jackie let out a heavy sigh and turned to look at him. 

"Maybe he supports the government, but that doesn’t mean he's not a good guy.’’ 

“He's not even here.” Steven raised his voice, a little more piss off than what he should’ve been. 

"I guess he’s just... He didn’t realize how important this is." 

“Then he wasn’t paying enough attention.” Hyde spoke down, as if she shouldn’t listen. 

“What?” Jackie looked at him again. He wasn’t sure, but maybe she had listened just fine. "Why are you being such an ass about it?" 

 _Wasn’t that obvious?_  

"I... I just don’t like him, okay?" It was true, after all. 

“Well, too bad, because he's going to be part of the gang now.” She said with that cocky way of hers. It was pretty annoying, actually. 

“Not my gang.” 

“So what? If I marry him, I can’t hang out with you guys anymore?” She turned on the bench, looking indignant. 

"Jackie, you don’t hang out with us anymore.” He took his hands off the wheel for a moment to gesticulate. 

"Well and who's fault is that?" The girl crossed her arms over her chest, looking at him accusingly. 

“What? What are you talking about?”  

"Steven, how can you be so stupid?" She paused and he tried to figure how she made him guilty. "Why do you think I moved away in the first place?" 

“I don’t know! You had your job back-” 

"You just don’t understand, do you? It was you, Steven! It's all your fault!” She cut him off. Her face turning red and her voice shrill. 

"Jackie..." Hyde found himself speechless. 

“You know what, forget it! It doesn’t matter anymore.” She turned her face to the window beside her. 

“C'mon, Jackie!” 

"No Steven, don’t ‘ _c'mon_ _,_ _Jackie_ _’_  me! I'm only here ‘cause of Red and tomorrow I gonna go home and I’ll move to Detroit and get married and everything will be fine. 

"Is that what you tell yourself?" 

Jackie stared at him with those big doe eyes and Steven swore his heart had stopped beating. He wanted her. God, he still wanted her. And it was so strong and overwhelming that scared him, so he looked forward and just focused on driving. 

  

** 

 

Point Place 

Evening 

  

Red woke up that afternoon. He as fine as he could be. Conscious and remembering everything. He was very weak and sleepy though, but he’d be fine. And just like that Jackie had nothing else to do there, so she thought it would be safer to leave early. Safer. The word made seem as if she were running away from something. Or someone. 

Well, she was. 

"Mrs. Forman.” She called Kitty as she walked down the hall toward Red's room in the hospital. 

“Oh sweetie!” The lady smiled at her. “Thank you for your support. Red and I are very grateful.” 

Jackie smiled. She really missed Kitty. Maybe more than all the others. Mrs. Forman was sweet and loving, always present and always willing to help. Just like a mother should be. 

"There's nothing to be thankful for.” They hugged each other. “Everything is fine now!” 

Kitty agreed shaking her head quickly. 

"Mrs. Forman, I have to go back to Chicago." 

"Oh no no no, honey! It's getting dark already. And it looks like is gonna rain.” 

“No problem, I really need...” 

"You stay tonight and go back tomorrow, what do you think, huh? What difference can there be?” 

That was a good question. 

A tricky one. 

“Ok, I'll stay over tonight.” She resigned. 

“Marvelous!” 

  

As the woman walked through the hospital doors, she saw Steven leaning on El Camino. His cigarette glowed in the dark street and she clutched her coat against her own body before walking up to him. 

“Hey.” She said softly, leaning beside him. 

“Hey.” 

“Are you okay?” 

“Yeah...” 

“He'll be fine.” She put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly. 

She had this thing on her that wanted to make him feel better. 

“Thanks.” The man looked at her with those clear blue eyes of his. 

“What for?” 

"I was really freaking out. But with you here... I mean, you... 

Steven stopped for a moment and Jackie was afraid he wouldn’t go on. As much as it seemed her heart was jumping out of her body, she wanted to hear how it would end. She wanted to hear a lot of things from Steven. He looked at her again and cleared his throat. 

"You calm me down, make me quiet." He finished, staring into her eyes. 

"You mean Zen?" She smiled a little but her smile didn’t affect him. 

“No, man. I mean really quiet.” 

Jackie swallowed. 

"Steven..." His name came out of her mouth like a gasp of a laughter. 

"You leaving tomorrow?" 

"Yes, Mrs. Forman insisted I’d stay the night.” 

"So, wanna get something to eat?" He asked, moving away from the car and throwing away the cigarette butt. 

"You gotta stop feeding me.” She smiled and he smirked. 

"I thought we could... You know." He slipped his hands into the pockets of his pants and shrugged.  

Jackie knew those gestures. 

He was nervous. 

And so was she. 

“I don’t think that’s...” 

“For the good old days?” 

 _Oh G_ _osh_ _!_ _Say n_ _o, Jacki_ _e_ _!_  

“OK. For the good old days.” 

  

She didn’t recognize the place they were. It was new. The whole thing looked a lot like a date, it was actually a good restaurant and not The Hub. The food was good and the conversation flowed well. They always were good talkers, well, maybe not always, but surely after their relationship and all the exchanged intimacy. 

Jackie was kind of nostalgic. To spend those days at Point Place and being there with Steven made her miss her youth days more than ever.  

"Do you remember our first date?" She asked without realizing, sipping the wine in front of her. 

"On Veterans day?" Steven confirmed. 

“Yes.” Jackie smiled at the memory. "It was a very decent date, considering.” 

She laughed and he did something like that, both in a light alcoholic mood. 

"I lied about our kiss." He said, a little more seriously. 

“What do you mean?” 

"When you asked me if I had felt anything. I lied. I felt many things.” 

“Well, that's new. I felt something too.” She confessed. 

 “Really?” He looked very surprised. 

"Yeah, well, I was too young and confused. I think I was waiting for fireworks or something. But I felt something more... real and I think it scared me a little, I don’t know.” 

“Huh!” Hyde uttered an exclamation that mixed surprise and amusement. 

“What?” 

“Don’t know. Things could’ve been different if I had been more honest.” 

“Yeah, for both of us I guess.” Jackie took a moment to calm her beating heart down. That was going really bad for her. “It's getting late.” 

She said. Like a last call for help. 

  

** 

 

Point Place 

Night 

  

“Is that your store? It is different.” She pointed across the street as they walked back to El Camino. 

"Yes, it is. Want to take a look?” 

Jackie nodded and they walked to the record store. Before Hyde opened the glass door, a lightning struck the dark sky. He had made some improvements in the place, nothing too big.  

"It's pretty much the way I remembered it, but cooler.” 

Hyde laughed. 

“Actually, it is.”  

"And your record label is going well?" 

“Yeah!” He sighed. "I mean, it's really hard to find time for both things, and I hate work so much, but it'll be all right." 

“That’s great!” She smiled, a beautiful smile. "I'm really happy for you, Steven.” 

She paced slowly, ran her fingers through some records and Steven kept his eyes on her almost all the time. Sometimes she got scared by the sound of a thunder and it was kind of sweet.   

“Remember this?” Jackie showed him a record from the Beach Boys. 

“Milwaukee, October 78." Hyde remembered perfectly. He wouldn’t admit out aloud but he enjoyed that band, in fact the group was one of the few that pleased them two. 

“Oh my God!” She smiled. “It's been five years already.” 

Five years ago they went to that concert together and slept in a hotel room in the city. Just the two of them. 

"That night was perfect.” Jackie said quietly, in a sigh, replacing the record in its original place. 

Steven walked over to her and searched for another album from the same band. Then he put the record to play, in a specific track. 

 _Darlin'_ sounded in the empty store. 

He saw her face melt into a wistful smile. 

Steven heard the first few verses and sat down on the small couch. When that song played on the concert, Hyde told her he had traveled to the past and asked Brian Wilson to write that song just for her and Jackie cried a little. Later in the hotel, they made love (as she liked to say) until dawn. 

 _I was living like half a man_    
_Then I_ _couldn't love but now I_ _can_    
_You pick me up when_ _iIm_ _feeling sad_    
_More soul than I_ _ever had_    
_Gonna_ _love you every single night_    
_'Cause_ _i_ _think you're too_ _outta_ _sight_  

The sound of the heavy rain drowned out the last parts of the song and the man turned to see Jackie. 

A solitary tear ran down her face, silently. 

“Jackie?” He stood up and took a few steps toward her, running his hands down her shoulders and arms. He never knew how to deal with her crying. Not even before. Not even when he knew she was just being dramatic. 

"I'm just a little tired, that's all." She smiled faintly, shrugging her shoulders. 

Jackie could be so fragile sometimes. And Hyde has forgotten that. 

So he pulled her to him and circled her into his arms. She hugged him back, her small arms pressing his body. They stood like that for a few minutes, static in each other's arms. Only the movement of breaths could be noticed. 

Maybe that was the moment he was waiting for, maybe he should tell her everything he had been feeling in the last few days. Few months. Tell her he still loved her. And maybe he always will.   

 _But would it be fair?_  

She pulled back a little and raised her head to look at him and a million possibilities crossed his head. But it all fade down when she smiled. 

“What?” 

"I haven’t seen you with your glasses these days." She said. 

“Oh, I forgot them in Milwaukee.” 

 Her smile widened. “I like it better that way.” 

“Why?” Having her so close made him fell inebriated. 

"I like to see your eyes. I've always did.” 

 _Could his heart beat so fast?_  

“Why?” He climbed up with his hands to the nape of her neck. It was an automatic movement. Something like a deja vu. Something his own body did by memory. 

"I can see you, really see you.” 

 _Could he kiss her?_  

And it was just like the Forman's Wedding night again. Eighth months ago, when Jackie kissed him on the sidewalk and restarted all that madness in his head.  

 _Could he not kiss her?_  

No, he couldn’t. And so he did. 

The kiss was desperate, like drinking water after too much time lost in the desert. Hyde pressed her face so hard against hers and Jackie couldn’t keep her hands to herself. He walked a few steps against her, pushing and cornering her against the counter. Adrenaline pulsed madly in his veins, electrifying his whole body. Jackie was his drug. Made exactly to make him lose his head. And once addicted, you never get clean, not really. 

But in the next moment she pushed him away so he stepped back. 

“That's a mistake, Steven.” She held firmly on the counter on her back. 

“No.” He wanted to have her again but he only stepped closer enough to feel her breasts against his chest as she breathed heavily. 

“No?” Jackie's voice trembled and her eyes were darker than the usual. 

“No. Never a mistake.” 

It was all he could say before kissing her again. But different this time. With much more suffering this time. Almost painfully. She didn’t refuse and kissed him back with the same amount of emotion.     

When the kiss had its end, Jackie looked deep into his eyes and Hyde knew. He had lost her a long time ago and would cost more than a kiss to get her back. Then she left the store like lightning, coming out the door into the rain. And leaving such a void in his chest that it would be impossible to live without her again. 


	8. The Collision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I made some changes in season 7 and 8, because well it sucked.  
> Anyway, you should know that Jackie really goes to Chicago at her first try, when she leaves a note, and stays there until Steven come after her. Hyde in fact catches Kelso naked, but it is not implied that she intends to sleep with him. It's Hyde that jumps at that conclusion. All after that remains the same, except that Jackie never finds out Hyde bought her a ring and Kelso gives up on her, never asking her to marry him.  
> That's all.
> 
> Enjoy it :)

Point Place 

January 14, 1984 

Morning 

  

She should be at the hotel. So Steven sat in Red's green armchair and waited. She’d come back. Three hours passed slowly and he started to wonder if he should go to the hospital to see what how things were. 

Fez arrived soon after and stared at him with those expressive brown eyes. 

“What?” Hyde asked sulkily. 

“Nothing.” He answered very quickly. “You know...” 

“Spill it, Fez! 

“Well.” His friend twisted his fingers in his lap. "Jackie spend the night at my apartment.” 

“What?” Hyde leaned forward. 

"She left before dawn.” 

“I can’t believe her, man!” He felt a current of irritation in his body. "Did she tell you anything?" 

Fez shrugged. 

“C’mon, Fez!”  

"She told me about the kiss and... that she was very confused. She's scared, man.” 

And he knew that. But why couldn’t she stay? At least once. Why couldn’t she stay and face things with him? 

“Whatever, man. Screw this” 

“Aaai” Fez whined, but he was already gone. 

  

He was no longer a teenager so he couldn’t erase it all with a drunken night. So he drove through the city. He passed by his old house, totally deteriorated, and also by Jackie's house. Big and beautiful, with another family living in there. He drove down the street from the school to the hotel, the FotoHut, through so many places filled with so many memories. 

It emptied his mind for a while, but not enough time. When he thought it was too heavy, he went to the hospital. Kitty was sitting on the edge of Red's bed and they both smiled. A sense of relief flooded him. 

“Hey, Mr. Forman. How is it going?” He asked as he entered. 

“Better than never.” Red smiled and Kitty smothered a laugher. 

“You scared us all.” Hyde sat on the small sofa beside the bed. 

“Yeah... Sorry about that.” 

"Well, I'll go see the doctor and get your new diet." Kitty patted her husband's leg. "And God help me, Red, if I catch you eating any junk food." She threatened. 

Before leaving, Kitty pulled Hyde into a long hug. Generally, he wasn’t comfortable with such long contacts, even when it came from Mrs. Forman. But this time, though, he hugged her back and let himself enjoy it. 

“Thank you, sweetie.” Hyde just smiled weakly at her. "Now, boys, you should talk.” She nodded her head several times, and Hyde pretended not to notice the look she had cast at her husband. 

Dammit. 

Red cleared his throat. "So, Steven. I think I must tell you a few things.”  

“Mr. Forman, there’s no need...” 

“Listen, son. At some point in Korea, I stopped receiving letters from Kitty. I thought she had given up waiting. Well, when I got back I didn’t look for her and it took me two months to randomly meet her on the grocery store. She pretended she didn’t know me at all and I got very angry. So that night, I went to her parents' house ready to demand some sort of explanation, cause of course I deserved better, I just had fought my ass out for the country.” 

He paused. And then smiled. 

"She was crying because she thought I was avoiding her. She stopped receiving my letters as well. We got married a few months later.” 

"That's..." Hyde tried to find something to say, but there was nothing on his mind.   

"Steven, you’re our son. And we want you to be happy. Life has these stranger paths, but you're a grown man now, so be a man, get your ass out here and make you own path. 

  

** 

Chicago 

Evening 

  

Jessica was the cutest little thing and Jackie cried when she said goodbye to Michael and Brooke. Betsy caressed her face with those tiny little hands and told her that crying was for stupid girls. Jackie laughed at that. She had always been a stupid girl. But now there was no time to be a girl, she would've to be a woman and face her new life (and leave the past in the past). Having a family like Michael’s was still Jackie's dream. Having children to take care of, little beings that would receive all the love she could give. Going to Detroit mean to take a step toward that, wasn’t it? It had to be.   

"Detroit isn’t that far, you know?” Andrew said as they drove back to her apartment. 

“I know.” She smiled faintly. 

"And we can come visit whenever you want. Even to Point Ville.”  

“Point Place.” She corrected him with a little irritation. 

“Sorry, pretty thing.” He gripped her leg and she looked at him. 

That was the man she was going to marry. And he was perfect. 

Why couldn’t she be happy? 

“That’s ok, I'm sorry. We'll be fine.” 

“Of course we will.” He smiled widely. 

  

They spent a few hours packing her things and when the night fell down, she poured herself a glass of wine while Andrew was in the shower. The kiss crossing her mind from time to time. She spent her last night in Point Place at Fez’s, in her old bedroom. As always he had been a perfect friend and given her shelter and comfort. Before sunrise, she picked her stuff at the Forman's and left without saying goodbye to anyone. 

Before she could finish the wine, her apartment phone rang in the empty living room. 

“Hello?” 

No one answered, on the other side only static.  

“Hello?!” She repeated.  

“It's Hyde.” 

Jackie held her breathe.  

“Can we talk?”  

"Steven, I-" She began to whisper, but he cut her off.  

“I’m here.” 

“Where?” Her voice sounded low and terrified. 

"On your corner, I don’t know, in a fucking diner." 

“Steven, go home!” 

“I can’t.” 

"I ain’t coming down, Steven.” 

“You’re. You're coming down ‘cause I'm not leaving until you do, Jackie. 

She sighed heavily and wished she had a place to sit because her legs were shaking too much. 

“What do you want?” 

“To talk... Jackie, don’t make me beg, c’mon!”  

"Fuck, Steven!” 

It took her a few seconds after she hung up trying to recompose herself. Unsuccessful, of course. But she walked slowly to her bathroom and knocked on the door. “Andy?” 

“Yes?” Andrew answered over the noise of the shower. 

“Er... Fiona called. She... needs... me.” 

“Is she allright?” 

“Who?” 

“Fiona.”  

 _Oh Jesus, Jackie. Focus._  

“I don’t know, I... I'll be right back, okay?” 

“Ok.” 

“I promise, Andrew.” 

“Ok, pretty thing.” He laughed. 

  

Her blood boiled as she stepped down the stairs between her apartment and the street. When she saw him, he was smoking a cigarette on the corner, in front of a diner where she often dined. It was very cold that night, so she pressed her coat against her body and walked to him.   

"Have you lost your mind?" She said as she approached him. "What the hell are you doing here, Steven? If this is about that kiss, I swear to G-” 

"Aren’t you tired of leaving?" He interrupted her. “Every fucking time.” 

"Steven..." His name came out as an exhausted sigh and she rubbed her temples with her fingers. 

"You left me, Jackie. And you fucking promised you never would.” 

"That kiss was a mistake..." 

“Forget about the damn kiss, okay!?” Hyde exalted himself and Jackie hugged her body. “You said until noon! You said it! But you left before that.” 

“You were going to break up with me!” She began to exalt herself as well and people were already staring at them. 

"No, I wasn’t! You’re crazy, you know that? And you knew I couldn’t break up with you.” 

"I didn’t know shit, Steven. You never let me know anything!” 

“You knew I loved you!” 

"And was that enough? Was that enough for you?” 

"It was! I was gonna asked you to marry me, dammit!” 

Jackie looked at him for in chock. She never knew that. And know that changed everything, but changed nothing at the same time. 

"But you married her instead. Or did you forget about that?” Steven closed his eyes and shook his head no a few times. 

"Why did you marry her?" Jackie continued. 

“I don’t know! I was drunk!” 

"But why did you keep her?" 

"I wasn’t myself, I don’t know, Jackie! It was the worst days of my life.” He sighed heavily. And looking at his tired face, she noticed small snowflakes crowding there. The whole thing seemed rather surreal. "There's no fix for us, huh?" 

Jackie denied it slowly, feeling two drops of cold tears falling from her eyes to her chin. 

“Then why did you kiss me?" Steven asked in a tone of desperation, leaving her confused. 

“You kissed me!” She pointed his chest with the tip of her finger. 

“No, Jackie. You kissed me at Forman's wedding. You started all this madness in my head.” He nudged his forehead. 

“I... I was drunk, I'm sorry.” Jackie took a step back. 

“I know that, okay? But you said that you still..." Hyde stepped forward. 

“Still what?"  

“I don’t know, you never said it. Say it now, Jackie! You still what?” 

“Steven, I...” 

“Cause if you’d say you still have feelings for me... Don’t marry him!” 

“I'm going to marry him, Steven.” She said, filled with an empty certainty. Maybe even a liar certainty. 

"You don’t love him." He accused, looking so deep into her eyes that Jackie felt naked. 

"You don’t know shit about me!" She raised her chin, getting defensive. 

“I know everything about you.” His blue eyes seemed to burn her. “I know when you talk too much it's because you're either euphoric or insecure. I know how much it hurts you that your mother went to Mexico that year and I know you love Christmas because it was the only day your father sat to play with you. I know you're strong, but I also know you wear this as a mask cause most of the time you're just scared. And I know you desperately want to be loved, you need someone to love you so hard because you always felt like your folks didn’t loved you. And I love you, Jackie! All of you! Dammit! 

He finished and Jackie was crying, standing in the cold in the middle of the street, crying in front of the man she still loved. She was broken, her heart racing so hard she could barely breathe. And Steven was waiting for her answer. His gaze was so heavy on her that it was difficult even to stand up. 

“Jackie...?” Unlike before, his voice was a soft, like a lament. 

“What do you want from me, Steven?” She exploded. 

“I want you!” He shouted back. 

“I... I can’t." Jackie turned her eyes to the window of her apartment. 

“Fuck him!” 

Then Hyde grabbed her arms and brought her closer and the kiss he gave her made her heart jump absurdly, inhumanly. It seemed so right, it seemed like the whole world fit when their lips fit. It was something like fate. And it made her head go out of orbit. 

But despite it all, she pushed him away. 

"You have no right to do this to me!" Her eyes were wet again, and her voice trembled. 

“Jackie, if you leave again... I swear to God, this is the last time. And I might love you till the end of my days, but this is my last time.” 

She froze, unable to go or stay. Her voice also gone. 

What should she say? 

How much could she afford? 

Steven kept waiting for her. How long would him wait? 

 _Not much._  

“Fuck this!” He gestured with his arms, turning his back on her. 

She wanted to scream, to call for him. But his name got stuck in her throat until the lump became too big. 

And that was Jackie Burkhart. A little creature crying on the sidewalk, beneath the snow. 


	9. The surrendering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!  
> Just so you know this chapter has some sexual content, but nothing explicit.
> 
> Enjoy it.  
> XOXO

 

Chicago 

January 14, 1984 

Night 

 

She went upstairs feeling numb. Surely, she was cursed or something. Jackie was pretty sure she’d never be truly happy, it just wasn’t for her. But despite all that pain in her heart, she’d get married. She had no choice, not after letting Steven go for the very last time. Andrew was rummaging through the boxes when she opened the apartment door, eyes red and all. She had no idea what she’d tell him. Probably the truth.  

“Jackie what happened?” He asked, coming closer to her carefully. 

“Andrew I...” What now? “My middle name is Beulah.” 

“What?” He stopped with a very confused expression.  

“And I hate it”  

“That’s... that’s why you crying?” 

“And my dad is in prison.” 

“Jackie... this is some kind of joke?” 

She looked him right in his eyes. Such beautiful eyes. And yet... her hear felt nothing. Why couldn’t she love him? 

“Do you love me?” She asked. They never talked about love before.  

“Yes.” He answered quickly, with a shrug.  

“I mean, do you really, really love me?” 

“Are you scared or something?” 

“Just answer me Andrew!” 

“Yes! I do love you!” 

“So why you never tell me that?” 

“I- I don’t know, it’s that important?” 

“Of course it is!” She yelled.  

“Jackie calm down.” He came closer, reaching his hands to her.  

“Don’t touch me now.”  

“Why?” 

“Cause I don’t love you!” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“I talking about love.” She stood quiet and glare at him. It wasn’t what she had planned at all, but it was no turning back now.  “I... I’m so, so sorry, Andrew. But I can’t go with you.”  

“What do you mean you can’t go with me?” He said the words slowly and took a step away from her. 

“I mean...” She sighed heavily. “I mean I can’t marry you. I’m sorry.” 

“I... I have to go, I...”  

And when he left her apartment she felt like she was awaking from this strange realistic dream. It hurt like hell, but she could breathe again.  

 

** 

 

Milwaukee 

January 15, 1984 

Wee Hours 

 

Five rings on his doorbell already. But he didn’t want to answer. Led Zeppelin’s saddest song, All My Love, was playing loudly so he pretended he didn’t listen to the rings. It hurt so much he could cry but his heart was so used to that pain he wasn’t able to find any tear. He tried, he really tried. At least this won’t be on his regrets list and that was a win, sort of. However, Hyde was feeling like goddamn looser.  

Three more rings. He got up and pressed the intercom button. “Go away!” He yelled. But the thing rang four times in a row so he began to worry.  

“What??” He shouted. 

“It’s Jackie.” His heart stopped at once.  

He released the door so she could get in and waited for her at his apartment door. He didn’t even know how to stood there and leaning with his hands in his pocket seemed to be the best option.  _Just look cool, man._  Jackie appeared like a vision with her nose red and her eyes smaller than the usual.  

Hyde invited her in and closed the door behind them. She took a moment to check the apartment.  

“I like it.” She said.  

“Thanks. How did you find me?” 

“Donna.”  

“Of course... So... Why you here?” 

“I broke up with Andrew.” He tried to contain the smile that insisted in grow.  

“You did?” She nodded. “Good.” 

“Good? That’s all you have to say?”  _Oh boy, here we go._  

“I said it all before, Jackie. You heard me.” 

“Yes, I heard you, but-” 

“So it’s your turn.” 

“My turn?” 

“Yes”. He leaned against the door behind him.  

“Ok.” The girl sighed. “Do you remember Michael and Brooke’s wedding?” He nodded. “I hated to see you again. I was feeling very lonely in Chicago, and my job at the time was terrible and it hurt so much to see you. So I made a deal with myself... I’d work every day to make myself happy so the next time I’d see you, it won’t hurt at all.” 

A single tear felt from her eye. She wiped away and kept going. “It worked. Until I see you again. Steven, that night, I... I don’t remember what I did our what I told you, but I remember how I felt around you. How I still feel when I’m with you. And It feels like my heart swells and explodes every freaking time you look at me. And I did everything I could to kill this feeling, I was gonna get married, for God sake, but... here I am. And I’m sorry. For Chicago, I’m sorry for stupid Michael, for what I ever said to you to hurt you. I’m so sorry.” 

Hyde's mouth was dry as desert and there was something in his throat about to burst into tears if he shared a word so he cleaned it before he spoke, pushing the lump down. But his eyes were burning anyway.   

“I’m sorry too." His voice sounded hoarse." For everything I did to you, for Samantha and all that crap. I’m sorry for being a jerk. And I mostly sorry for not fighting for you the way you deserved. Deserve.” Pretty sure he was crying a little. 

Jackie, though, was crying a lot and Hyde never could control himself when she cried. So he stepped away from the door and moved toward her. He took her into his arms in a tight hug, Jackie kept crying for a while, calming down slowly.  

When she lifted her head to look him in the eye, he held her face with both hands and kissed her lightly. Once. And then twice. Until the kiss became more intense and long, full of deep old feelings. Steven could feel the wet tears against his face and he just pressed her harder against him. They both were out of breath when they broke it off. 

“My life’s such a mess right now.” She whispered. 

Hyde smiled. “Let’s just... mess it up together, ok?” 

“Okay.” Jackie agreed with her eyes shut and then she kissed him.  

Her small hands left his shoulders and went down to his chest. Jackie found her way beneath his clothes and touched the skin of his stomach. A groan grew from his throat along with a wicked desire. Hyde grabbed her waist and lifted her so she crossed her legs over his hips. The man walked with her in his lap until he pressed the small body against the nearby wall. 

Little moans and sighs escaped her sweet lips as he kissed them. With fervor. With passion, no, with something like devotion. Devotion sounded better. Jackie moved her hips against him and scraped the skin from his back. He pressed her harder and in a rhythmic way.  

The next thing he saw they were in his bedroom, stripping off their clothes quickly and sinking deep into each other. Jackie's skin was soft and perfumed against his own and god, he couldn’t even gauge how much he had missed her. Her sexy surrendered look, the soft moans and that furious way of hers, everything about Jackie, absolutely everything excited him. 

And when he finally went inside her and she moaned loudly while smiled, Hyde felt his body expanding and he was able to feel things he had never felt before. It was a sensation so well-known for him, but at the same time it was very new. Every little piece of hers that he had decorated was there, but with new nuances. The woman in his arms was his Jackie and also a new Jackie. A completely wonderful Jackie. And he loved her even more. When their dance came to an end and they floated in outer space, Hyde rolled over the bed and pulled her to his arms. Accelerated breaths and warm bodies. He ran his hands through the tiny body and breathed in her natural scent. They were silent for a long time, immersed in their thoughts, skin to skin. 

“So... did I lose my grip?” He smirked. 

“A little. But I’ll put you on track.”  

“I’d like to see that.” 

“Oh God, I don’t have a job anymore!” Jackie said suddenly. “Or an apartment!” Hyde laughed. 

“Stop laughing, Steven!” 

“Stay here.” She glared at him. 

“You’re serious?” 

“Yeah, man.” He sat up. “We can work things out.” 

“Steven... we don’t have to rush things up.” She pushed the shits to cover her up. 

“Why not? Look, we had our time before and now... I don’t wanna waste any second of this.” 

Jackie looked down and sighed. “It’s just... I’m afraid I'm gonna get hurt.” 

“I won’t hurt you.” He touched her chin. “I promise you.”  

Her beautiful rounded eyes shined to him. “Stay.” He asked again, with his heart pumping loudly.  

“I’ll stay.” Jackie whispered.  

And Hyde kissed her hard and just like that his body was on fire all over again.  


	10. The Future is Bright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> I loved to write this down. 
> 
> XO

 

Milwaukee 

September 24, 1984 

Afternoon 

 

It was her twenty fourth birthday and she was going to throw a dinner for her friends. So she left her work at the PBS, the Public Station of Milwaukee, and went straight to the grocery store. Jackie took the list Steven made her from her purse and took her time. There was some kind of pleasure in all that. After that she drove until Steven’s record label to pick him up. He’s the one cooking, so... she needed him. 

“Hey, doll” He said, entering the car and she leaned to kiss him. “Got everything?” 

“I think so.”  

 

The apartment was slightly different, much more crowded with her stuff (mostly pink stuff), some music instruments, lots of papers from her new job, lots of records, some old and new pictures on the walls and some clothes all over the place. She tried to let everything organized while he prepared the dinner, since she was forbidden of help him.  _You only make worse._ He'd said to her every time she tried to help him at the kitchen.  

Donna and Eric arrived first, soon Fez and then Michael, Brooke, Betsy and Jessy, who was super cute. Jackie was feeling so happy, mostly for having that kind of things back. She missed being with her friends a lot. Later, when everybody had left, Steven gave her his present. A tiny bracelet with their initials inside. Her heart melted right away.  

“I love you” He whispered while they were kissing.  

He used to say it a lot more now. Every day before she got out to work, sometimes twice a day, when they went to sleep. They were still adjusting a few things but mostly, those were the best days of her entire life. 

 

** 

 

Milwaukee 

November 11, 1984 

Night 

*Veteran’s Day* 

 

In the morning they went to Point Place for Red’s barbecue. Mr. Forman was way quieter than what he used to be and they were teenagers. Which was a good thing, considering his heart condition. After lunch, Steven drove her to the place they had their first date and asked her to marry him. The ring was still the same he bought her years ago. She cried very hard, it was a mess and it kind of ruined the romantic scene. But she couldn’t feel happier than that. It was just not possible.   

They went straight back to their apartment and made love several times for the rest of the day. When he fell asleep with no clothes by her side, she got up to call Donna.  

“Donna, I have something to tell you!” She said, very excited.  

“Oh my God, me too!” Donna said it back, quite excited as well. Jackie jumped a little at the dark living room. “I was just taking the phone to call you!” 

“Ok, me first.” Cause, of course! “Steven and I are getting married!” She tried her best to not yell and wake him up.  

“Jackie, this is amazing!” 

“I know! Now, you tell me.” 

“I’m pregnant!”  

“Oh my God!” She yelled with her shrill voice, jumping up like crazy. 

“Jackie? What the hell?” Steven appeared at the living room, naked, mad and hot as fuck. 

And as much as she was very happy for her friend, she just needed to have sex with her fiancé again. 

“Donna, congratulations, but I’ll have to go now.” 

 

** 

 

Point Place 

March 29, 1985 

Afternoon 

 

Jackie was driving him crazy. He’d never say that out loud cause she’d surely kick him if she listened, but he was glad they spent that night apart. It was her idea, for a change, he didn’t like at first but it turns out to be a good thing. She was acting crazy. Of course, he knew this was gonna happen but not in that level. She was bossier than never, all his ideas were garbage, it was practically impossible to have a normal conversation with her and she yelled at him with no good reason. Why he loved her so much it was something he'd never understand. 

It was an outside weeding, on the firsts days of spring, like she wanted (well, demanded). It wasn't a religious ceremony, which was a win for him. There were pink peonies and tulips all over the place, and God help him, there would be white doves flying above them when they kiss. Hyde knew it all because she won't shut it about it, twenty-four hours a day, babbling and yelling wedding stuff. The only thing he didn't know was her dress, for God sake. 

But now, he kinda missed her all around him. Sure, he was able to sleep in peace but he had missed her all curled up on him and now he missed her talking non-stop while she'd be probably fixing something in his groom clothes. In fact, he kind of wished she was there, she made everything easier, including marry her. Steven took a deep breath and got out his hotel room.  

"Hey, Hyde." He crossed paths with Forman. "Nervous?" 

"Not much." He lied. Actually, he was freaking out.  

 

It was happening. Mrs. Forman was more restless than he was (on outside) while they waited to get in. His real mother was invited and were there on a regular bench like the rest of the guests. No way she'd occupied the family places. So Mrs. Forman would get in with him. By the way, Kitty was Jackie's bridesmaid and Red was his best man. The only idea he had that that wasn't thrown away. 

When he stood at his place in the altar, he couldn't keep up his Zen attitude anymore. He began to pace back and forth while he eaten his fingernails.  _Stop it, this is disgusting._  Jackie's voice sounded in his head, so he put down his hand. His foot started kicking.  

Donna appeared with her rounded big belly full of babies (yes, in plural) and smiled at him. It only got him worse. His lungs already stopping working.  _Great._  This couldn't be happening right now. Not now.  

But he saw her coming. Before anyone, he saw her coming alone and his heart steady down. She was fucking beautiful. Gorgeous. She looked like a goddamn princess in that white dress.  

When the rest of the people saw her, she was already under the arch of flowers in the entry. She took a deep breath and took a step to him. And everything else got blanc. There was only her. And he couldn’t keep himself so he walked to her and met her at in the middle.  

"I missed you so much." He whispered and she laughed, beautifully beautiful. 

So he held her face and gave her a soft smooch, took her by the hand and made the rest of the walk with her.  

 

** 

 

Point Place 

May 10, 1986 

Evening 

 

It was the twins first birthday. Ethan and Joshua, two little devils. Now, they were a mini army. Betsy were their tyrant leader in the peak of her seven years old. Jessy was beta, but not for long, since she was a sweet two years girl and the boys were getting bigger so fast. They were savages. Donna and Eric were so screwed. Brooke got luck Jessica was more easygoing. She'd never survive with Kelso, Betsy and two kids like the twins. No one could.  

Jackie was very quiet, since the last Thursday actually. They recently came back from their first wedding anniversary trip. Three weeks on Hawaii. They couldn't make such an expensive trip for the honeymoon so they waited a year. Well, it was a hot vacation, let's say that. Everything was fine, they were getting back on the work routine and suddenly she got all quiet. 

She was talking to Fez and his new girlfriend. A blond girl, very goof, but kinda cute. Jackie was laughing but not with her eyes. And this was bothering him very much. Was she not happy anymore? Plus, he was pretty sure she was avoiding him. So he let her be, feeling a little like the boy he used to be.  

 

They drove back to Milwaukee in silence, Jackie looking at her window all the time.  _That's it._  He couldn't take it no more.  

"Ain't you gonna tell me what's wrong?"  

"Nothing's wrong." She glared at him from the passenger seat.  

"Don't lie to me. Do you want the divorce?" 

"What? No. Do you?" Her voice got louder.  

"Me? You're the one being weird."  

"I'm not being weird, Steven." She sighed.  

"Yes, you're." He entered the drive way from their building.  

"Stop being a dick, would you?" 

Jackie got out the car and took the elevator without him.  

 

Hyde took his time. If she wanted to be away from him, so that's what would happening. After a time he considered long enough, he went to their bedroom. It wasn't just not fair that she was crying.  

"Babe... why you're crying?" He got on the bed with her. She shook her head no. "Jackie, you can tell me anything." 

"It's just..." She sniffled. "You're always saying how Donna and Eric are screwed." 

Hyde frowned, very confused. "Well... they are." 

"Argh." She rolled her eyes and slapped him in the arm.  

"Ouch! Why did you beat me?" 

"I'm pregnant, you moron!" 

 

** 

 

Milwaukee 

December 4, 1986 

Wee Hours  

 

"Oh my God, oh my God, Oooh" Jackie shouted from the apartment door. "Steven, what the fuck are you doing?" 

"I can't find her bag." 

"Leeaave it"  

"Ok, ok, I’m going. Let’s go.”  

“I hate you so much right now.” She told him as he help her get in the car.  

“I’m sorry, doll.”  

“I hate you and you ugly cock.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Stop saying you sorry!”  

“Sorry.” He whispered one more time.  

“Oooh God” Jackie twisted herself on the seat. It hurt like hell. 

 

When they arrived at the hospital, her water broke and everything happened very fast. The pain became unbearable and the only thing she could do was yell and push. It felt like the baby was ripping her from the inside. She hated every second of it and sword she'd never ever get pregnant again. But when they put Leslie on her arms she felt something she has never felt before. An overwhelming feeling in her chest. Jackie pressed her baby girl against her skin and receive the kiss Steven gave her. But she couldn't look at him right now. The only thing she had eyes for was her baby girl Leslie.  

 

** 

 

Chicago 

January 15, 1991 

Evening 

 

Betsy was turning twelve years old and they were throwing a party she didn't wanted to. She wanted to be only with her friends, no grownups, but Brooke didn't let her. Kelso was freaking out because Brooke told him Betsy got a boyfriend. Some kid named George that he threatened to put in jail. Hyde would love to make fun of that, but Leslie was in kindergarten and already had four boyfriends. His heart already ached just thinking about when it wouldn't be child's play anymore. 

He took a sip of his beer and looked at what everybody was doing. Josh and Ethan were now running over the yard of Kelso's new bigger house. Leslie and Jessy were playing with their dolls and Kitty was with them. They just loved their grandchildren. Red and Kitty were old and Red was softer. He was listening to something Dylan was explaining to him. Dylan was Hyde's younger. A very inventive four years old boy.  

Donna and Rebecca, Fez's goofy wife, were talking. Jackie was helping Brooke, who was pregnant with her third child (that’s why they bought a bigger house). Kelso and Fez were just being stupid and Eric was laughing at them.  

"Daddy" Leslie came running to him with her dark hair bouncing around.  

"Hey princess." She smiled with her pink lips and rosy cheeks. 

"I'm hungry." Steven put her on his lap.  

"Just a little bit longer, sweetie." 

Then Hyde kissed her head and let her go. When he raised his eyes, Jackie was glaring at him and smiling. And he loved her so much at that moment he had to get up to kiss her.  

 

** 

 

Milwaukee,  

December 25, 1997 

Morning 

 

Red died eight months ago, another heart attack. So they sold the house in Point Place. No one could keep it. Kitty was living with them in their house in Milwaukee now. It was a very sad Christmas morning, but they were all there at the Hydes residence.  

Fez, Rebecca and Zach, their four years old boy. 

Michael, Brooke, Betsy, Jessy and Harper.  

Donna, Eric, Josh and Ethan.  

Laurie and her third husband.  

She, her husband, Leslie and Dylan.  

The kids were opening presents and they were all watching, clapping hands and all. But everyone was very sad. Jackie was anxious to make the announcement, she hopped would cheer them up a little. She glared at Steven who nodded to her when they were all at the table for lunch. 

"So... guys, Jackie and I would like to tell you something." He said and everybody looked at them.  

"Hm" Jackie got up. "I know this is sad Christmas for us, we all miss Red very much, but we got a present we like to share with you." She turned to look a Mrs. Forman, who had tears in her eyes.  

Jackie sat at her chair again and took Kitty's hands.  

"I'm pregnant. And her name is Regina." 


End file.
